KJ (owlmoose) wrote,

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Crazy Crossover Character Meme

Ganked from oswulf.

Pick 12 characters without looking at the questions below the cut. Then post your answers.

Be warned: there are 50 questions, so this is not a quick meme, and some of the topics covered are borderline NSFW. I found it entertaining, though.

1. Paine (FFX-2)
2. Nooj (FFX-2)
3. Yuna (FFX/X-2)
4. Auron (FFX)
5. Hugo "Hurley" Reyes (Lost)
6. Juliet Burke (Lost)
7. Susan Ivanova (Babylon 5)
8. Hermione Grainger (HP)
9. Ashe (FFXII)
10. Lightning (FFXIII)
11. Jadzia Dax (Star Trek: DS9)
12. Worf (Star Trek: TNG/DS9)

So most of these questions would result in some fairly crazy cross-over crack, which suggests that the answers are going to be a little out there. I'm going to assume that I have a giant world-crossing machine which makes the various pairings feasible from a technical standpoint and go from there. Also, writing summaries is probably my least favorite thing to do, ficwise, so I'm going to skip that part of most of those questions.

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?
Juliet/Dax: I've never come across any Lost/DS9 crossovers, but we could do a lot worse than this one. Two attractive women, both frighteningly competent and no-nonsense? Yeah, I could go for that.

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Auron. I don't think there is any question to the correct answer of this one.

3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Worf impregnating Hermione Grainger, hmm. I don't see them working together as a couple, but that kid would be *fierce*.

4) Do you recall any good fics about Nine?
I've read some quite excellent Ashe fics, but too many people don't seem to understand her character at all. I suppose them's the breaks when you're woman in a Final Fantasy fandom who isn't a healer/summoner/mage -- too many writers have no idea what to do with you.

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Nooj/Juliet? My first instinct was to say no, but the more I consider it, the more I see it as a possibility, since she seems to be attracted to competence and leadership ability.

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?
Hurley/Ashe or Hurley/Lightning, hmm. Ashe and Lightning have a lot of similarities, really, except Ashe channels her energy into leadership and Lightning is more of a lone wolf type (or tries to be). I dunno; neither of those pairings really gels in my mind. I always imagine Hurley with someone more sweet and low key than either of those women. Off this list, I'd probably pair him with Yuna.

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
I'm too busy laughing my head off at the thought of Nooj/Worf to be able to decide was I would think, much less Ivanova. They'd probably spend the whole time being grumpy at each other.

8) Make a summary of at least twenty words for a Three/Ten fic.
Yuna/LIghtning - this seems like it would be a pretty similar dynamic to Yuna/Paine, and if I were to write that pairing, it would be about the two of them talking, sharing past hurts, Yuna drawing Paine out a little bit. I can see Yuna and Lightning in a similar situation.

9) Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?
The chances of Paine/Hermione fic of any sort existing strikes me as vanishingly small, and if it did, I really don't think it would be fluff.

10) Suggest a title for a One/Five Hurt/Comfort fic.
Hurley/Paine? Somehow, I see Paine doing the hurting, then Hurley coming around after to patch things up with the comforting.

11) What kind of plot would you use for a Three/Eleven fic?
Yuna/Dax -- this bears some thinking about. Depending on where we are in Yuna's canon, I most see Yuna looking up to Dax in a little bit of awe, and Dax first thinking of Yuna as a sweet girl, then being impressed when she learns more about Yuna's strength. Maybe some sort of development like that.

12) Does anyone on your friends list read number Seven het? What about Nine slash?
Ivanova het: Dunno about my 'flist, but since my B5 OTP is Ivanova/Marcus, I'd love to be pointed in the direction of some...

As for part two, I am pretty sure that at least *someone* on my flist has to have written femmeslash featuring Ashe, although no example comes to mind right now.

13) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
Hermione songfic: "She Blinded Me with Science" (Science, magic, same difference.)

14) If you wrote a Two/Three/Six fic, what would the warning be?
Nooj/Yuna/Juliet? I think "crossover", "crack", and "OOC" would all have to feature in there somewhere.

15) What would be a good pick-up line for Two to use on Ten?
Nooj chatting up Lightning; now there is an image. I don't really see Lightning falling for pick-up lines, so it's just as well that Nooj is also a fan of the direct approach.

16) Challenge: Write a drabble-fic for Ten/Eight.
Lightning/Hermione... no, I think my brain just broke.

17) Would you ever write a Nine/Seven fic?
I rarely write crossovers, and if I did, B5/FFXII would come fairly far down the list, but there is, in fact, something about the idea of Ashe/Ivanova that intrigues. Two strong women, driven by ideals and ambitions, somewhat closed off from their emotions. Either they'd hate each other or they'd be best friends forever.

18) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?
No. No no no no. Auron/Paine? Not even going to go there.

19) Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash?
Didn't we already get this question? It's basically a repeat of 12. But anyway, Ivanova slash: I'd be, let's say unsurprised to discover Ivanova/Talia fans on m list, and I count myself among them to a certain extent.

20) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?
Yuna het: oh my, yes. I think probably most of my friends in FF fandom are at least okay with Yuna/Tidus, and there's the whole cadre of Yuna/Baralai fans.

21) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
I'm sure some of the Star Trek folks out there must have written Jazdia.

22) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?
Nooj/Auron/Hurley... kunstarniki and I used to joke about writing Nooj/Auron (and there was some cracktastic comment fic somewhere along the line), but the chances of anyone throwing Hurley into that mix? Pretty much nil. It might be fun to see Hurley interacting with one of them, though. Particularly Auron.

23) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?
Somehow I picture Lightning as a woman of few words in such a situation.

24) When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
I don't seek out "Lost" fic, so I don't think I ever have read a story about Hurley. Maybe after the show is over I will rectify this.

25) What is Six's super-secret kink?
Juliet? If we go by canon evidence, I figure it would have to be goofy nicknames.

26) Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?
Dax with Ashe? I have a feeling alcohol would not have to be involved to get Dax at least interested.

27) If Three and Seven get together, who tops?
Ivanova for sure. I don't think it even much matters who the other person is. (Although some of the other people on this list might give her pause.)

28) "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Two." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
Well, first off I am not entirely certain about the premise, since Paine and Ashe are not high on the list of people I can see in a happy relationship. I do like the idea of Paine's torrid affair with Dax, though, not to mention that the thought of her getting sage relationship advice from Hurley. That, plus a Paine/Nooj ending, suggested that the person most likely to write this monstrosity would be... me.

29) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?
Ivanova/Hermione? Canon for what?

30) Does Ten strike you as a voyeur or an exhibitionist?
Lightning seems definitely more of a voyeur type, given her generally reserved nature.

31) Who of the list would Eleven most likely bottom to?
Duh, Twelve. But only if he takes his turn later.

32) Would you rather do Three or Five?
Hurley or Yuna... that's a hard one, because I love both characters but am not particularly attracted to either of them. I guess, being mostly straight, I'd probably to go with Hurley. He's a sweet guy; it might be fun.

33) Which of Four and One would you rather have do you?
Aaaaaand now we're on the flip side of question #32. How am I supposed to choose between Auron and Paine? Well, okay, I guess it's not that difficult: Auron.

34) Twelve and Two are having sex in an airplane. Construct a snippet of dialogue that happens during this encounter.
Ah ha ha, Nooj/Worf again?

35) How much would you pay to see naked pictures of Eleven? Have you? Where can the rest of us find these pictures?
I wouldn't pay, but I wouldn't argue, either. Spots that go all the way down!

36) Where are Five and Nine most likely to have sex?
Hurley and Ashe? I chose nowhere.

37) When Twelve masturbates, whom does he/she think about?
Eleven. Always and forever. Poor guy.

38) What is Eleven's favorite sex toy?
A bat'leth? Oh no, wait, that's her favorite foreplay toy.

39) Come up with a title for a Twelve/Seven/One threeway. Would you read it? Would you write it? What would some of the warnings be?
Coming up with titles is my second least favorite part of writing, so I'm skipping that part, but I can think of far worse combinations from this list than Worf/Ivanova/Paine. Does "excessive awesomeness" count as a warning?

40) Who's more likely to be tied up during (consensual) sex, Two or Six?
Nooj. No contest.

41) If Eleven and Three are carrying on a torrid and forbidden love affair, who's most likely to spill the beans? What would the other person do to retaliate?
Yuna would do this before Dax, I think, although maybe if Dax was goaded into it, she might go first. I don't know that either of them would retaliate, particularly.

42) As a birthday present, Seven's longtime lover Five offers to do whatever Seven wants in bed. What's Seven's secret birthday wish?
"Boom! shaka-laka-laka, boom! shaka-laka-laka..."

43) Choose a food item for Four & Twelve to use together.
Worf challenges Auron to eat gagh, which he accepts without flinching. It's not his favorite, but he's had worse in the field. Afterwards there is a friendly bottle of blood wine.

44) Eight and Four are in a fulltime D/s relationship. Who's the top?
Hermione. Auron wants someone else to be in charge for a change, and Hermione enjoys the challenge.

45) Which fetish is Nine least likely to indulge?
Ashe? Anything whatsoever that leaves her out of control of the situation, even in play.

46)a What would you do if you had Eight naked, willing, and ready in your bed?
Give her some clothes and send her home. Hermione will always be a school girl in my mind.

46)b What would Five do if he/she had Eight naked, willing and able in his/her bed?
"Dude, you're a wizard? Can you do some magic for me?" Hurley seems to be more of a Star Wars geek than Harry Potter, but I bet he's as least seen the movies.

47) Ten gets a tattoo to declare his/her eternal love for Nine. Where is it? What does it say?
After her experiences with brands, I don't think Lightning is getting a tattoo any time soon.

48) Imagine that Two writes erotic Eleven/Six fic. What sort of summary might the fic he/she writes have?
Okay, I confess it: there is something strangely appealing about the image of Nooj writing a nice porny Juliet/Dax story. I suspect

49) If Two walked into the room wearing nothing but a red thong and a feather boa, how would Eight react?
Nope. Can't do it. That picture of Nooj is being ejected from my mind with great force.

50) Who's Four's secret admirer?
Two. No question. But not in a romantic sense -- Nooj looks up to Auron as an example and a role model, the man that every Spiran warrior should be.
Tags: crack, fandom, ffx, ffx-2, hp, meme, random, star trek, television
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