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More DABB idea bouncing

Mostly thoughts about stitching together the events of the two dwarf origins. I have two different ways it can go and am not sure which works better.

So the big question, really, is whether the origins are happening simultaneously, or one after the other. At least some of the Brosca origin has to be first, because Aeducan meets Rica in Bhelen's quarters, and Rica's conversation with Beraht in the opening Brosca scene suggests that she doesn't have a patron yet. Here's what I came up with for the origins running somewhat in parallel:

 

Day

Sera

Duncan

Natia

One

--

Meets Natia at Proving, impressed with her performance, tries to convince guards to release her into his custody but fails

Confrontation with Beraht, deals with Oskias. Proving, taken captive by city guard, beaten unconscious, Beraht uses his influence to have her transferred to Carta cells.

Two

Birthday feast, meets Duncan, Bhelen warns her about Trian

Attends Sera's birthday feast

Unconscious in her cell

Three

Deep Roads expedition, Trian's death, taken captive, spends night in cell

Leads team to the Deep Roads, they clear out a tunnel and make camp, he heads back to Orzammar and encounters Natia, recruits her and takes her back to camp

Escapes Carta prison, kills Beraht, recruited by the Wardens, leaves Orzammar

Four

Sentenced to death, put in Deep Roads, fights her way through side tunnels, finds Duncan, is recruited

Continues in Deep Roads, meets Sera, recruits her

With Duncan

 

This works, I think, except that I don't really have a good reason for Duncan to come back to Orzammar. I can't imagine that he wouldn't be well supplied before leaving, and he doesn't make any plans to report back to the King or anything. So I'm stuck a little bit there.  It also means that Rica's relationship with Bhelen developed really quickly, like over a single day, and I'm not sure how realistic that is.

The other option I can see is for the entirety of the Brosca origin to happen first, so that Natia is already recruited by the time Duncan meets Sera. This has several advantages and one giant hole: where is Natia when Duncan and his Wardens rendezvous with the Aeducans and their troops in the Deep Roads? Although I can think of reasons why she would ask to remain out of sight while Duncan is dealing with the dwarven nobility, and it would be easy enough for her to avoid the palace, I can't figure out where to place her on the second day. 

Any thoughts or suggestions are welcome! Especially if there's a better option I'm missing entirely.
This entry is also posted at http://owlmoose.dreamwidth.org/597407.html. There are currently comment count unavailable comments on DW.

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
here_be_dragons
Sep. 13th, 2012 06:44 pm (UTC)
How closely do you want to stick with canon? Do you want both of them to follow their own origin stories pretty closely as far as getting recruited, or are you willing to go AU?
owlmoose
Sep. 13th, 2012 07:22 pm (UTC)
Even when writing AUs, I like to stick as close to canon as I can, unless I have a really good reason to change things. Obviously this is an AU from the moment that Aeducan meets Duncan and Brosca is in the party, and I'm not opposed to small changes if they're needed to make it work. But as few changes as possible, yeah.
here_be_dragons
Sep. 13th, 2012 07:33 pm (UTC)
Cool. That's exactly what I wanted to know. I'm on my way to a meeting this afternoon, but I'm going to let this percolate in my brain for a while, and let you know if I come up with anything.

BTW, your attitude about AU is pretty much the same as mine. I like to stick as closely as possible to canon, but have definitely made small changes. I'm actually doing something very similar to what you're doing here with the mage origin. Rhianna Cousland is my main character, but after conscripting her, she and Duncan travel to Kinloch Hold, where Duncan ends up conscripting Solona Amell, as well. So, Rhianna and Solona go through their Joining together. (All the other origins will also appear in the story eventually, including a Surana, but not by being recruited by Duncan; Rhianna will encounter them in other ways).
owlmoose
Sep. 13th, 2012 11:26 pm (UTC)
Cool, I look forward to your thoughts. :) I've gotten some good cases made for having the whole Brosca origin run first on both DW and Tumblr, now, but I still welcome more and different ideas! :D
here_be_dragons
Sep. 13th, 2012 11:53 pm (UTC)
LOL! Actually, I was thinking the opposite. That it might be easier to run the Aeducan story first. I haven't read any of the other comments yet, but actually that's probably better. This way you can see what I came up with knowing that it wasn't colored by any other comments.

It seems to me that the thing you need most is time. You mentioned that Duncan woud have no reason to return to Orzammar, but I think that is something you could easily work around. After all, do we actually know why Duncan was in the Deep Roads? Does he specifically say he's traveling through on his way to somewhere else? (Perhaps he does; I've only played each of the dwarven origins twice, so I'm not as familiar with all the dialogue as I am for the Cousland origin, most of which I could probably recite by heart :D).

But why not have Duncan's business be something other than traveling through? He comes to Orzammar looking for recruits (and at this point, could recruit either Brosca or Aeducan). I had thought that maybe it would be easiest for there to be just one Proving, after which Brosca is imprisoned and Aeducan is banished. Then, Duncan goes into the Deep Roads, fully intending to come back through Orzammar on his way out. Since there will already have been signs of a Blight, it would make sense that the Wardens might want to scope out the situation underground. Or, maybe Duncan had intended just to travel through, but then discovers something that he felt needed to be brought to Endrin's attention (maybe loads of darkspawn where none were expected, or even darkspawn totally gone from an area they usually frequent - more signs that a Blight is brewing). While he's in the Deep Roads, he runs into banished Aeducan, and recruits her. Then, when he comes back through Orzammar (either because he has news, or that was his intention all along - maybe he even says he's on his way to Kinloch Hold to try and recruit mages or something), then he can be in town when Brosca escapes, and he can recruit her, too. (After all, there's no reason Brosca can't be imprisoned for some indefinite period of time).

The biggest problem here is bringing Aeducan back to Orzammar - but if she's wearing generic Warden armor, and keeps her helmet on the whole time, that could work, as long as she has a cool enough head not to go looking for Bhelen.

That's what I came up with on the drive to school today, anyway. Hopefully there will be at least something there that will help you find your solution. :)
owlmoose
Sep. 14th, 2012 06:43 am (UTC)
An interesting thought! But I think it's further AU than I want to go. The biggest problem for me, as far as canon is concerned, is that you can't have all of the events of the Aeducan origin happen first, because Aeducan meets Rica in Bhelen's quarters, dressed in the noble outfit. But we don't see Rica in her noble garb during the Brosca origin until the very end. I think the Bhelen/Rica relationship is going to be pretty important to this story, I think, so I don't want to mess with it too much.

Also, you probably didn't see this since I only talked about it in the DW comments, but Brosca being with the party when Aeducan finds Duncan is pretty important to me -- it's been central to my vision of the scene from the very beginning, and I've written that bit and really like how it works. So I can't flip it entirely, although I might be able to flip elements of it.

Anyway, interesting thoughts and I will have to ponder them more!
here_be_dragons
Sep. 22nd, 2012 02:21 am (UTC)
Oops! I just realized I never replied to your response. The thing that makes me happy about this? It is obvious that you are really clear in your head now about certain things in the story - so if my making a suggestion that was definitely NOT what you wanted to do helped to clarify things? YAY! :)
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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